19: it frees up so much mental energy

content notes: misogyny, homophobia, lesbophobia

november 29th, 2024

huge huge huge respect to people who’re quote-unquote “scary angry lesbians”!!! I’ve spent many years trying to do justice to the vibe, and the idea that I’m somehow betraying my fellow confident and/or queer women by becoming a man is one of my biggest transition worries. y’all kick ass and I’m so proud of you and you absolutely deserve to feel safe and comfortable as you are

also, as a note, this is definitely a your-mileage-may-vary situation: I know of plenty of men who would likely resonate with stressed-left-Blobic here, and plenty of women who wouldn’t! being harassed and being worried about harassment definitely aren’t experiences that’re exclusive to women or that are universal among women. but recently I’ve been finding that I personally worry about it less when I’m out and about in guy mode, and it is. So Nice

finally — ayyyy, first-person pronouns! we’re committing to the autobio bit here, aaaaaa :3

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transcript:

one of the first changes I’m noticing about presenting as male again is how I feel about moving confidently in public!

I’ve always walked around with a certain amount of swagger, but doing so feels “allowed” to me as a man in a way it didn’t feel to me as a woman.
[two versions of Blobic stand side-by-side, both wearing a t-shirt, cargo pants, a serious expression, and a backpack casually slung over one shoulder. one has noticeable breasts and long hair and is labeled “edgy radical feminist queer,” while the one with a flat chest and short hair, as the new Blobic design has been depicted thus far, is simply labeled “a guy.”]

nowadays, a lot of my self-consciousness about existing in public seems to be rapidly disappearing
[both versions of Blobic sit slumped on benches, looking at their phones. the more female-looking one is thinking a paragraph of tiny text that reads “they’re looking at me don’t worry I’m not a scary angry lesbian unless you’re about to catcall me in which case don’t mess with me I’m totally a scary angry lesbian aaaaaaaa,” while the thought balloon of the more male-looking one is filled with images of tetris blocks, butterflies and flowers, and Blobic and Chris smooching.]

I worry that all this newfound privilege will go to my head, but at the same time I’m pretty sure it’s okay to let myself enjoy feeling safe and comfortable
[a tiny doodle of male Blobic’s face smiles and exhales: “phew”]

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