35: im sad, what do? (2/2)

content note: bugs (specifically ants)

may 5th, 2025

it’s page two!! I ran out of room on this page to include the extra caveats and context I wanted to include, so to share them here: I am by no means an expert on mental health and have only been consciously trying this approach for a few weeks, so take it with many grains of salt! that said, I’ve been finding it really helpful so far 🙂 and I also feel it’s worth noting that each step in this process deserves time and requires vulnerability and Feeling Things! if one step feels overwhelming, spending more time in the previous one might help, and if you feel stuck in the current step, it might be time to try moving into the next one!

and if you’d like to learn more about experiencing sadness and other emotions from someone who IS closer to an expert, I heartily recommend checking out these videos by Heidi Priebe! her work is a huge huge inspiration behind so much of my work and I can’t recommend her enough. she does use a decent amount of therapy/psychology language that might not be familiar to or comfortable for everyone, so very understandable if that’s not your cup of tea, but aaaaa I love her videos so much!!

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transcript:

my tentative guide on How to Sad goes as follows:

1. experience real circumstances that don’t align with your hopes/expectations
[a bubble labeled “hope” displays a stick figure beaming at the ice cream cone they’re holding, while a box labeled “reality” shows the stick figure gaping in dismay as the ice cream scoop plummets off the cone to the ground]

2.1 mourn the loss of your hoped-for outcome + identify important aspects of said lost outcome
2.2 accept current reality + identify important aspects of said reality
[the stick figure gazes sadly down at their melting ice cream on the ground, which is now surrounded by tiny specks. they think to themself, “I’ve been having a bad day, and I was hoping ice cream would help me feel better. now the ice cream’s covered in ants and I can’t afford more until next week”]

3. get creative in finding ways to prioritize important aspects of hoped-for aspects within current realities
4. bonus step: learn from the experience to better fulfill hopes going forward
[the stick figure sits contemplatively next to the melting ice cream, watching the enthusiastic ants. they’re now thinking, “enjoying nature also often helps me feel better and is free, so maybe I’ll sit here and watch the ants for a bit and then walk home, and then get ice cream next week. also maybe I’ll try one of those waffle bowls instead of a cone”]

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